Get ready, you're going to hear me say this ALL THE TIME -- If you have autoimmune diseases (like diabetes, thyroid disorders, food sensitivities, etc...) your body is working twice as hard as normal people and you are exhausted!!!
Here’s what it’s like with an autoimmune disease. Normally a person’s pancreas and thyroid produce hormones INSIDE YOUR BODY, which then get distributed to your cells and blood vessels pronto. BUT if you have diabetes, or hypothyroidism your thyroid/ pancreas don't work right so you have to take medication from OUTSIDE YOUR BODY that work its way into your system slowly. FIRST You have to guess/figure out what kind of medication you need ( go to several doctors appointments, have lots of blood work, read about the problem, discuss it with loved ones, fight with insurance, wait in line at the pharmacy) THEN guess/figure out how to ingest it. THEN your body has to figure out what the foreign substance is and THEN distribute it inside. Aside from all these extra steps in just getting what’s needed to work normally there are TONS of other little differences (hormonal, cellular, metabolic) that make your body work so much harder to achieve normalcy with an autoimmune disease.
OKAY I just EPICALLY SIMPLIFIED what it’s like having a chronic illness. For a second think about it. You, a person with chronic illness, is dependant on medication to survive. And hopefully you’re body is ok with your medication and your don’t get all the side effects people mock in the commercials for Humira or depression medication.
The reality of the matter is what people mock is your existence. The terrifying side of our lives is the we are subconsciously always aware that if our medication stopped working or we couldn't get ahold of it in time is that wouldn’t live, we could and would die without it.
Anytime my insulin pump breaks (which had been 4 times total in the last 17 years) I have a major melt down. Everyone around be acts very surprised that I am reacting so negatively. I am a strong woman who comes across as someone who is very capable and I rarely let anything bother me. So why do I curl up in a ball on the floor in tears when I have to take shots for 12 hours until my new pump arrives? I was on shots for 3 years before the pump, no problem right?
I think this is how it is, any time I get sick or something unexpected happens in my health routine I begin to panic because all the emotion and frustration I supress on a daily basis is suppressed by the fact that as a person with diseases I don’t have time to throw a pity party everyday because I’m to busy trying to survive.
That’s the hard truth friends. Our emotions take second place to survival. It’s either focus on your disease and ignore the pain, exhaustion and loneliness of invisible illness that 75% of the time you act normal so you don’t die. YEA. This isn’t something easy to accept or easy to understand or easy to write about it. I get it. I live with 5 to 7 medical issues daily and juggle them better than a clown at the circus.
People don’t understand us, and how could they? I wrote a brief summary at the beginning to sum up our exhausting lives and yea, it’s hard to simply read that and not feel stressed.
So don’t kill yourself, your body is already pushing hard to work right, you’re doing a great job.
Do yourself a HUGE FAVOR. Remember you are EXTRAORDINARY. NEVER EVER FORGET that you are an IRREPLACEABLE PART OF THE UNIVERSE. Remember you are NOT ALONE!
SENDING YOU A MILLION MILLION VIRTUAL HUGS!!!
