I went surfing for the first time. Man, it was all expected it to be and more. It was absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. It took so much fear of the ocean out of my mind and heart. You simply lie on top of the water and stare out at the endless horizon and breath. I was in love and it was absolutely incredible. I have dreamed of surfing since I moved to North Carolina 9 years ago, maybe even before that. I finally pushed past my fear and limitations and headed out onto a board for the first time.
However, I lasted maybe 15 minutes. The entire time I was out there I ended up paddling against the current. That becomes tiring for most people quickly, but for someone with Addison's Disease and chronic fatigue, it happens a lot faster. I’m pretty sure I terrified my friend, who was out there teaching me. Suddenly I had to stop, panting like I had run a marathon. For the last ten minutes the lifeguard blew her whistle at us because we were in the “no board zone” and I was so tired and the current was so strong that I didn’t have the strength to paddle out. Finally after some rest on the board I was able to get out. And slowly walk back to our friends.
Was the fact that I only lasted 15 minutes discouraging?
Did I feel embarrassed and ashamed that the lifeguard yelled at me?
Was I miserable the rest of the day because I was sore and exhausted from my tiny boarding adventures??
NO, ABSOLUTELY NOT.
I FINALLY lived one of my dreams.
Despite disease, despite my exhaustion,
despite the fear of embarrassment and shame,
I LIVED AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Don’t be afraid, live your dream, love your life, it is beautiful.
